JUST A LITTLE DIARY ABOUT A GIRL & A GUY

Monday, May 08, 2017

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

H&M, offtheshoulder, embroideredtop, hmembroidered top,
H&M, offtheshoulder, embroideredtop, hmembroidered top,
H&M, offtheshoulder, embroideredtop, hmembroidered top,
H&M, offtheshoulder, embroideredtop, hmembroidered top,
Top: H&M | Skirt: Missguided | Sunglasses: Ebay 
When I was 23 I played an ice breaker game and had to share two truths and a lie with a group of people, my list went as followed:

1- I have a 2 year old daughter called Olivia 
2- I've sang for the Prime Minister 
3- I've jumped out of an airplane 

My list was shared and the guessing began. Unanimously it was decided that number one was true and it was incredibly hard for them to make a decision between the other two. These people didn't know me, they had looked at me, spoken to me briefly and made a judgement about what they thought was possible or realistic for someone like me. They made their decisions, and it's a funny thing the one truth they all agreed on was my lie. The funnier part was that these people were my colleagues, my peers and fellow liked mined individuals - or so I thought.

Following the game I was annoyed, actually to be honest I was pretty pissed off. I was one of very few people from an ethnic minority in that group with the majority being white, middle class. I felt they had judged me and put me into a box. It didn't even bother me that they thought I was a mother, it's that no time was even given to look at the signs that maybe I wasn't! I had no ring on my finger - nothing to indicate that I was married and thus more likely to have a child. Now don't get me wrong, if I did have a daughter called Olivia, I'd be one proud mumma - whether I was married or not. But I wasn't and still am not incidentally.

The older I've gotten the more I am aware that being a woman, let alone one of colour means I have to work that much harder, and my melanin ain't even poppin' like that so I can only imagine what it's like for those who are. This post could turn into a two thousand word essay because, well there is so much to say. But because I don't think you guys are here for two thousand words, here's what I will say. The reality is that sometimes the realities of life ain't that fair, and even though it's far from right you will be judged, at times very unfairly. But don't let this deter you from doing whatever the hell it is you wanna do. Stay true to yourself, be kind to others and don't let small minds play any part in your journey. Because everyone has a story and sometimes their truth might just surprise you. xx
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