DO IT FOR THE GRAM

Dress: Primark (Similar) | Jacket: ASOS MEN (Similar) | Boots: Missy Empire 

There is this part of me that hates Instagram and everything it has slowly started to stand for. A platform that at times does more harm than good, making women (and men) feel unattractive, unhealthy, unloved and basically 'ungramable'. It puts an insane amount of pressure on people to live up to the hyper-filtered lives of those who have become 'Insta-famous' and has created a generation of lookalikes and clones. I post pictures on Instagram and as the likes and comments come in, I know it's one picture out of 15 identical ones I took. Edited and filtered to look 'perfect' and even though I know all the other Instagrammers are doing the exact same thing, I still can spend ten minutes on Insta, rational thought goes out the window and can very quickly feel one of those said feeling mentioned above. And I'm a grown ass woman so I feel deeply concerned about our young people, who are the most impressionable.

There is this part of me that hates the gram, but then there is also a part of me that doesn't. It can be a tool for the good and used to empower, educated and enrich the lives of others. The internet in general has allowed us to communicate in a way like we never could before. Plus if you have enough followers it can quite literally become your business. For some wonderful, crazy reason a couple thousand people choose to follow me on Instagram. I've made 'friends' and connected with people from all over the world all thanks to this platform, which is how I came to know Ayesha and her beautiful work. She reached out to me and I'm so glad she did, she writes like how I wish I could and probably never will. She kindly let me share one of her poems which I just love, it speaks to my younger self and my ex I've quite happily forgot about. But that's a whole nother, nother post, lol. Please check out her blog here. Thank you Ayesha, I think your work is awesome. xx

Letter NO.1

It’s not my fault you’re fucked up.
Although you made me feel like it was
I was always too good for you, and maybe you knew that. Maybe that’s why you were so, fucked, up.
But I’m sorry that I made you feel like so much less of a man that you had to squeeze my heart just to tame it
That you had to burn my lungs just to smother the sounds… shit.
Did you have to bury my feelings so deep beneath yours that you forgot where to dig them back up?
It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to love.
Although you made me think that it was
I was always too much for you and maybe you knew that…
But I’m sorry that my soul runs free while yours is tied in a knot
That my mind is so wild that it takes me to depths that you lack the capacity to comprehend
I’m sorry that you don’t know the word comprehend
I am so. Damn. Sorry… That you weren’t fierce enough to run with me

- Ayesha Jade